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Dear Brandon,

I was so excited to start at the same school with my older brother. I thought he’d introduce me to his friends and it’d be cool to know upperclassmen right away. At least I thought he’d show me where the math hallway is! But he acts like he doesn’t even see me! If I go up to him at school, he treats me like a stupid little kid. Sometimes at home it’s better, but sometimes he acts like he’s my third parent, telling my what I can and can’t do. What gives? How do I get some respect??

Little Brother Loser

Hi Little Brother,

Oh man, that sounds really frustrating—to expect to have the inside track and then be shut down by your own brother. I can see why you’re disappointed.
I can’t totally relate, since I don’t have siblings. But I do spend a lot of time around animals at my grandparents’ animal shelter. And here’s the cool thing about dogs—their behavior is really predictable. If you get a group of dogs together, they immediately organize themselves into a pack, and there’s always a top dog and a bottom dog, and a whole pecking order of dogs in between. (I guess pecking order is for chickens, but you know what I mean.) And if any of the dogs beneath the top dog get out of line, he lets them know. (At least your brother doesn’t bite you—I hope!)

It sounds like your brother thinks he’s top dog, at least when your parents aren’t around. You can’t change the fact that he’s older, but maybe he could be less of a snarling bully and more of a top dog you know you can count on to lead the pack.

So how to help him see that?

You said that sometimes things are okay at home. Maybe during one of those chill times you could talk to him honestly about how you feel when you’re at school and he ignores you or shoots you down. Explain how it would mean a lot to you if he treated you with some respect. I know talking about feelings can be uncomfortable, but the worst thing that can happen is things will go on how they already are. But best case scenario, maybe your brother listens and makes an effort to change. If you step up and lead the conversation, maybe he’ll notice how mature you are and you’ll earn some respect right then.

I’d also think about why your brother treats you how he does. At home, he might feel controlled by your parents, so he enjoys having some control over someone else. And maybe when other people are around, he feels better about himself when he acts like a tough guy. (He should feel like a jerk, and maybe sometimes he actually does.)

If things are really bad, consider involving your parents. You don’t want to tattle, but you do want to feel comfortable with your family members. Sometimes at the shelter, I have to step in and help when two dogs get in a tussle. And in the mean time, you might want to just avoid him at school. You can’t change how he acts—only he can do that. But you can avoid giving him opportunities to treat you like a baby.

I hope that helps!

What do you guys think? How do you handle bullying older siblings?

Sneak Peek #1 Book10

Dork Diaries Fan Club members just got their first SNEAK PEEK of Dork Diaries Book 10:Tales From a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter!!

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!

And, they’ll be getting TWO more SNEAK PEAKS at the first two chapters over the next few weeks.

If YOU read the first SNEAK PEEK, what did you think?

Were you surprised by all of the drama that was going on right next to Nikki’s locker? If you were Nikki, what would you do?

Was the behavior of her ex-BFF Jessica and the CCPs a bit shocking?

What do you think is going to happen with MacKenzie? Is she gone for good or will she come back to WCD?

Please leave all of your comments below.

Just remember to write SPOILER ALERT on your comment if you’re going to be giving away any of the JUICY details!!

P.S.

If YOU’D like to read my SNEAK PEEKS, just become a Dork Diaries Fan Club member (by clicking on the Fan Club page and registering). It’s absolutely FREE!!

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Calling all DORK DIARIES SUPERFANS

Wanna hangout with Rachel, Erin and Nikki for a filmed interview and book signing?! Are you dying to get a SNEAK PEEK at Dork Diaries
Book 10: Tales From a Not So Perfect Pet Sitter?!

Then, YOU’RE invited to join the FUN!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 10TH AT 2:00 PM

GUM SPRING LIBRARY

24600 Millstream Drive, Stone Ridge, Virginia 20105

Yummy cupcakes and punch will be served! Win COOL Door Prizes! FREE Dork Diaries posters, pens, stickers, and bookmarks!

Dork Diaries books will be available for purchase.

(Our new Book 10 will be released on Tuesday, October 20, 2015!!)

If you have any questions, please email Events@DorkDiaries.com

Advice_column

Dear Nikki,

OMG!! You are NEVER going to believe this!!

My DAD read my diary!!! And even worse, we just had a fight, so the most recent entries were all about how mad I was at him!

He went into my room when I was at school and read it and confronted me about what I wrote when I got home!

I’m never going to write in a diary again!!

OMG!!! RIGHT NOW, I’M FURIOUS AT MY DAD!!!!

What should I do, Nikki??

Sincerely,

HOPELESS HANNAH

My Advice:

Dear Hannah,

OMG!! This is AWFUL!!!! Your diary should be a place you feel completely comfortable expressing all your thoughts and feelings, even if they’re not so nice!! That’s the point of a diary! If you were only going to write happy cheery love poems, you should get a job with a greeting card company!

ARGH!!! I am so incredibly mad at your dad!!

I know what it’s like to have my diary stolen, and mine was stolen by MacKenzie! I thought that was awful, but when I think about it, it would be much, much worse if it had been stolen by someone I trusted NOT to violate my privacy—like my parents!!!

I think you have to talk to your dad about this, even though I know it’ll be really hard. Maybe you could get another adult involved in the conversation – your mom, if she’s around, or someone else you both trust, like a pastor or teacher or family friend.

Regardless of whatever you wrote about him in your diary, your dad really violated your trust – he made you feel like you can’t trust him again. Let him know how bad it makes you feel that he would snoop into your private thoughts like that. Explain how you need a place to express your feelings, and that it’s a healthy thing for a kid (or anyone) to do. Hopefully having someone else in the conversation will help you both keep from getting too heated and help you stay focused.

I’m sure some parents might say it’s okay to read their kids’ diary, because it’s a parent’s job to keep their kids safe. In some cases, maybe parents need to read a diary to be sure you’re not getting into dangerous stuff. Maybe your dad was worried about something serious. Maybe he really didn’t understand your position in the fight and was trying to understand you better. But I still think it was a pretty rotten way to go about it.

As far as you never wanting to write in a diary again…I can understand that. It also makes me super sad. Because writing in a diary is exactly how I would survive something like this.

You might want to take a break from writing in a diary, but I’d encourage you to find other ways to express yourself. Otherwise you’ll just bottle all your feelings up and then you’ll explode! Here are some ways you could express yourself without a diary:

Drawing/painting/cartooning
Taking a drama class
Making music of some sort
Writing stories or poems
Getting involved in an online creative community like www.Storybird.com
Fashion design/sewing

When you’re ready, you might consider starting a new diary, but take some precautions. You could keep a diary in a computer file titled something like American History Report. Or you could get a diary with a lock. You could keep your diary somewhere you don’t think your dad would ever check, like your underwear drawer (unless he puts your clean laundry away).

However and whenever you come back to writing a diary, I really hope you do. And even more, I really hope you and your dad are able to come to an understanding about what happened and how you can trust each other in the future.

I hope that helps!

What do you guys think? Has anyone ever read YOUR diary??
What did you do?? Post your comments below.

Brianna Sees A Mummy!

OMG! I AM SELLING MY LITTLE SISTER!
Seriously, could you use an occasionally adorable (but mostly infuriating!!!) little kid around the house? Maybe you need someone to drive you up a wall or steal your stuff or blame things on you? She comes at the extremely low, low price of FREE!!! JUST TAKE HER AWAY!

Ugh!!

Okay.

Sorry. I HAD to get that off my chest. As you can tell, I’m a little annoyed with Brianna.

We just got back from the craft store, where we’d gone to get a few new Halloween decorations. We’ve had our old ones for as long as I’ve been alive and they’re getting kind of sad. Like, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing spooky about the cracked pumpkins my mom made in pottery class when she was pregnant with me.

It was hard enough convincing my mom we needed a few new things and I knew she would freak out if I had a massive list of things to buy. I mean, there’s a reason we’ve had the same decorations since dinosaurs roamed the earth and you really didn’t need spooky decorations because the T-Rex down the road might gobble you up at any moment and that’s spooky enough.

So while I really wanted the deluxe life-size motion-activated zombie family that reaches out and grabs trick-or-treaters as they come up the walkway, I’d kept my list reasonable—some of those spider webs for the bushes, a few strings of pumpkin shaped lights, and this cool giant spider that was a little expensive but I had gone online for the coupon and everything!

Okay, so everything was under control. Until we got to the craft store. I had a bad feeling when Brianna started bouncing around in the parking lot.

“HALLOWEEN! HALLOWEEN!! HALLOWEEEEEEEN!!!” she screamed, then darted away from us and almost got flattened by an oncoming car.

Okay, I get her excitement. I LOVE Halloween! But A) it’s still two weeks away and B) Mom was clearly already on her last nerve. When she’s got that look on her face, it’s a delicate situation. Push her too far and she’ll show you scary!!

Then we got inside the store and Brianna super totally lost her tiny little mind.

“Ghosts!” she screamed in mock terror. “Ooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooooh!”

“Pumpkins!” she squealed in glee.

“GIANT SPIDERS!!” she shrieked and almost knocked over the display of giant spiders (the ones I had the coupon for!!!).
Did I mention she was running back and forth from display to display, pointing and grabbing, and making other shoppers swerve their carts to avoid squashing her?

And I was lunging and diving like a mad woman to catch falling spiders and steady wobbling displays, praying my mother’s face hadn’t moved over into scarier-than-zombies territory.
Finally I got a hold of Brianna. “Brianna, take a chill pill!” I hissed. “Or Mom’s going to lose her mind!”

I swear, she was practically vibrating in my arms. I think if I had let her go, she would have shot forward like one of those pull-back matchbox cars. “We’re going to get some really cool stuff,” I said in soothing tone, imagining I was at Fuzzy Friends with an especially scared new rescue puppy. “But first, take a deep breath.”
And she actually did it! I couldn’t believe Brianna was listening to me. “Now let’s count to ten,” I said, and I started counting. Brianna joined in, and I felt like SUCH a good big sister! I mean, okay, I was really doing it so I could get the stuff I wanted, but I was still helping my crazy little sister, right??

We got to ten and Brianna seemed calmer (because I’d been so awesome), so I let go of her hand. She took one step like a normal person…and then another step…and then on her third step she screamed “MUMMMY!!!!” And then she turned and ran, howling, in the opposite direction, knocking over a display of foam pumpkins that I tripped over as I chased after her.

(It might be a tiny bit my fault that Brianna is so scared of mummies because the other day she wanted to watch Princess Sugar Plum, but I was in the middle of MUMMY REVENGE 4 and I sort of said it wasn’t that scary and she watched for a while and for three days even the sight of toilet paper scared her.)

By the time I caught Brianna and my mom apologized to the store manager, Mom’s face was past the point of no return. “We are going home NOW!” she said.

“But Mom, what about my decorations?”

But she gave me The Face and we left empty-handed.

Who needs spooky decorations when all I really need to do is set my mom on the porch with her point-of-no-return face on and we’ll be the scariest house in the neighborhood!

(I DO!! I NEED SPOOKY DECORATIONS!! But I’m not going to get them and it’s ALL BRIANNA’S FAULT!!)

HELP!! What should I do to try and fix this very bad situation?!!

Please post your comments below.

Nikki Makes Halloween Decorations

MY SPOOK-TACULAR HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS!!

Okay, remember last week when I told you how Brianna went bonkers in the craft store and ruined my chances of getting some spooky new Halloween decorations? UGH!!! She is SO totally annoying!

But.

When we got home, I pulled out our totally sad, pathetic decorations and decided this could. Not. Be. No way were we putting these sad, cracked pumpkins out again. And even if Mom wouldn’t buy me that cool giant spider at the craft store, I’m creative! I could come up with some cool decorations using stuff I found around the house.

And you know what? I did! And you can too!!

I started with black construction paper. Pretty low-tech, right? But you don’t even need awesome art skills like mine to cut bat shapes out of black paper and tape them inside your windows. (Probably get permission first—my mom got kind of mad when she saw me, but then I showed her how the Scotch tape just peels right off.) The other thing that looks cool is taping simple, spooky shapes on the INSIDE of a lampshade—just be sure the light is off when you do this. When you turn the light on, the silhouette shines through really clearly. And if you’re not confident in your ability to draw the outline of a bat, just google ‘Bat Template’ and search the images. You can do the same with Ghost Template or Witch Template or whatever!

Next, I turned to the trash! NO, I didn’t go through all the ooey-gooey grossness in the trash bags. I pulled out some nice, clean UNUSED trash bags and set to work making them into super spooky spider webs to hang on my bedroom door. Maybe that will keep Brianna out!! You fold them and cut them like paper snowflakes. You can see instructions here:

http://howaboutorange.blogspot.co.uk/2011/10/cheap-trash-bag-halloween-decorating.html

Since the trash bags worked out so well, I wondered what the recycling might hold—and I found a couple things! Milk jugs and toilet paper rolls! Spooky right? LOL!!! Well, not yet.

But let’s start with the milk jugs—this is SO simple! You need the sort of transparent plastic kind of milk jug. It won’t work as well with white jugs you can’t see through, and it definitely won’t work with rectangular cardboard milk containers. But if you’ve got the clear plastic kind, start by cleaning them out really well. You don’t want Halloween decorations that smell like sour milk! (Or maybe you do…that might be scary!) Then use a Sharpie to draw ghostly eyes and mouths on the biggest side of the milk jug (the one without the handle). You could also cut circles out of black construction paper and tape them on. These are cute as they are, but you can also make them even spookier by lighting them up and setting them in a windowsill. The instructions show you how to use Christmas lights. You could also use glow sticks, or battery-operated tea-light candles, which your parents might already have around in other holiday decorations. Here are instructions:

http://eighteen25.com/?b2w=http://eighteen25.blogspot.com/2010/09/todays-project-spirit-jugs.html

Okay, now the toilet paper rolls! These are so simple and so spooky! You just cut spooky eyes into toilet paper rolls, then stick a glowstick inside. I know I still had some glowsticks left over from last Halloween. If you don’t have glowsticks, you could also use some of the little tea lights mentioned above. Then you stick your spooky glowing eyes in bushes or peeking out of the mailbox and anywhere else a spooky creature might lurk. (Don’t activate the glowsticks until it’s dark on Halloween, because they only glow for a few hours.) Instructions here:

http://www.rustandsunshine.com/2012/10/glowing-eyes.html

Okay, finally: I really wanted a cool outside decoration, since I couldn’t have the awesome motion-activated zombie family for the front lawn.  I was so excited when I found instructions for these really cool light-up ghosts for the front yard. They do involve outdoor lights, like Christmas lights, so you might need some parental help figuring out the outside plug situation, but aside from that they’re really simple. You need a tomato cage – which is NOT a place to put wild and crazy tomatoes in time-out. It’s one of those wire structures tomato plants grow around. You also need a white pillowcase OR a white garbage bag, a string of white lights, and a Sharpie. That’s it. They’re soooo cute!! You can find instructions here:

http://princesspinkygirl.com/tomato-cage-halloween-ghosts/2/

I hope you guys like my cool, thrifty Halloween decorations! Let me know if you have some spooky ideas of your own!!

Post your comments below!

Rachel and her daughters, Erin and Nikki, recently appeared
on the CBS Morning show to discuss Dork Diaries.

What does being a DORK mean to YOU?! Tell us below!

View More: Pop Culture News|Live News|More News Videos

And, don’t WORRY! The series is NOT ending anytime soon!

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Hang out with Rachel, Erin and Nikki as they celebrate the release of their latest book

Dork Diaries Book 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter.

Lots of great door prizes and free swag including posters, stickers and bookmarks!

Friday, November 13th at 7:30 pm
Fairfax County Government Center, Board Auditorium
12000 Government Center Parkway
Fairfax, Virginia 22035

Cupcakes, cake pops and punch will be served!

This is a FREE event! But, to attend you must sign-up online at the link below:

Dork Diaries Fairfax County Library Event

or call 703.324.8428

Co-sponsored by the Friends of the Pohick Regional Library

(Dork Diaries Books will be sold at this event)

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Exciting news!

I just finished taping the audio of my new Dork Diaries Book 10: Tales from a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter!

So, now it’s available as an audio book, which is basically me reading the book aloud. You can get it online and anywhere the books are sold.

Would you like to hear it? Just click on the pink circle below.

:paw: Audio Excerpt :paw:

Please post your comments below!

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Hey Dork Diaries Superfans!

In celebration of the release of Dork Diaries Book 10: Tales From a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter, here’s a cool game called, PUPPY LOVE!

Basically, you get to take care of your very own ADORKABLE virtual puppy. You can do fun things like play with it and give it a bone or a doggie treat. Or, you can teach it to beg and roll over.

OMG, you and your virtual puppy will have so much fun together!

All of my friends in the United Kingdom are playing my new PUPPY LOVE game and loving it. And now, YOU can play too!

http://bit.ly/dorkpuppy1

What do you think of the game? I’d love to hear your comments below!

THE MISADVENTURES OF MAX CRUMBLY

A brand-new series from #1 bestselling Dork Diaries author Rachel Renee Russell! Introducing Max Crumbly!

Max is about to face the scariest place he’s ever been—South Ridge Middle School! He has been home-schooled by his grandmother until now, and he’s begged his parents to finally let him start attending public middle school. He’s starting to question that choice, though, with the Thomas Silver Problem. As in, Thomas Silver keeps stuffing Max in his locker.

If only Max could be like the hero in all the comics he likes to read—or the ones he draws—and magically escape the locker and defeat Tommy. Unfortunately, Max’s uncanny, almost superhuman ability to smell pizza from a block away won’t exactly save any lives or foil bad guys. But that doesn’t mean Max won’t do his best to be the hero his school needs!

Pre-Order This Book!

Nikki's Research Project

ME, FREAKING OUT BECAUSE BRIANNA HAS A JAR STUCK ON HER HEAD!

3:32 PM: I am starting a huge social studies report and I’m going to be the MOST productive person you ever saw!!! It is true that it was assigned six weeks ago and it’s due tomorrow and I haven’t started yet. But I’ve done all my other homework so it’s ALL I have to do this afternoon! It should be NO problem and I WILL ACE IT!!!

My report is on Bessie Coleman. Here’s what I know so far: she was an aviator. Guess I need to do some more research if I’m going to fill up my poster board with interesting facts and prepare an oral report!!

*****

4:03 PM: Okay, I haven’t gotten very far. I learned that Bessie Coleman was born in 1892, and she was the first African-American to get an international pilot’s license. Which is REALLY cool! But then my phone rang and I totally ignored it because I am being PRODUCTIVE and CONSCIENTIOUS (I’m practically doing English homework just by using those words). But then I got a text alert from Chloe with an SOS 911!!!

So I called Chloe back. Her big emergency was that when our math teacher gave us our homework assignment earlier today, she was in the girls’ bathroom. So I had to look it up for her. And then I talked for a few minutes about how cute Brandon looked today, which got Chloe talking about how cute Max Crumbly (Brandon’s new friend) is until I finally told her I absolutely HAD to GO.

*****

4:41 PM: Bessie Coleman had to walk four miles to school every day. I wonder if she ever had to carry a big poster board project all that way? Or if she ever thought a school kid would be doing a report on her more than a hundred years in the future?
ANYWAY, I am TOTALLY getting back to work now after a giant distraction that wasn’t my fault AT ALL. After Chloe’s phone call, I swore there would be no more distractions. But right after that, Brianna stumbled into the living room with HER HEAD STUCK IN A PEANUT BUTTER JAR!! I am so NOT kidding!!!!

Remember when Brianna used Dad’s gallon container of natural no-salt no-sugar peanut butter on Holly and her 7 puppies in Miss Bri-Bri’s Paw Spa??? Well that CRAZY KID needed a snack and didn’t want to bother me (FAIL!!!) so she pulled out the almost-empty jar and decided to lick it clean! From the inside!!!! And then OF COURSE she got her crazy head stuck and came stumbling in from the kitchen, like some kind of crazy peanut butter ZOMBIE moaning for me to help her.

Once I got over my HEART ATTACK, I had to jiggle that jar this way and that until I finally got it off her head. I wanted to yell at her for being SO RIDICULOUSLY STUPID and wasting my PRECIOUS TIME! But since she was almost crying, I told her that her skin was going to be beautifully glow-y after her peanut butter facial, and the final step to ultimate beauty was a nice long (long enough for me to finish my report!!!) bubble bath followed by at least one hour of beauty rest (nap for a cranky little kid). So, I ran the bath for her and now I’m getting back to work.

Bessie Coleman, here I come!!!

*****

5:00 PM: You are NOT going to believe this, but a bird just crashed into our window. Of course I had to stop and go outside and make sure it was still alive. It WAS!! He was hopping around in circles, but he was okay, so I came STRAIGHT back inside and got down to business. Clearly that bird needed a few more flying lessons before he left the nest. And he didn’t even have Bessie Coleman’s excuse!! No one would give her flying lessons because she was A) a woman and B) African-American, so she had to go all the way to France!!!

*****

5:51 PM: Okay, I am going to crawl into a hole and DIE OF EMBARRASMENT!! I was almost done with my research (YAY!!!) when my phone rang. I didn’t even look at the caller ID. I thought it was Chloe again!! So here’s what I said when I picked up: “I don’t have time to talk about cute boys right now!!!”

IT WASN’T CHLOE!!!!

There was a pause, and then BRANDON said, “Okay. Umm…I was just going to ask if you could come over to Fuzzy Friends after school tomorrow to help with a mailing.”

So then I started babbling about Bessie Coleman to cover up my MORTIFYING AGONY and my mom walked in with bags of takeout food and gave me a frowny face for being on the phone during homework time, even though I was TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL. So, I got off the phone and now I have to go have dinner.

*****

9:34 PM: Had dinner. Locked myself in my room. Made poster board and prepared oral report. Falling into bed now.

NOTE TO SELF: Next time DO NOT leave the project until the last minute!!

Have you ever gotten distracted or interrupted when you’ve tried to do your homework? By what? How do you avoid this problem? Please tell me in the comments below.

Chloe With Wagon

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd

AAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!!!

That was not my impression of an angry pirate. It was me wondering WHY MY PARENTS DON’T GET ME AT ALL!!!!!!

I was not being “rude” or “ungrateful” when I made a simple suggestion at dinner. Mom was talking about everything she needs to buy for Thanksgiving and I made the (very helpful!) suggestion that maybe Grandma Maxwell shouldn’t be in charge of bringing the pies this year.

I mean, COME ON! Last year she didn’t have any cinnamon for her pumpkin pie, so she used chili powder instead!!! I am still traumatized!!!!

But then my mom snapped, “And WHO is supposed to make the pies, Nikki? Me?? I already have to make the turkey and stuffing and potatoes and green beans and…”

Look, I know my mom has a lot on her plate! Thankfully I had another super helpful suggestion ready! I’ve been seeing commercials for weeks that Pie’s the Limit is having a special of 3 take-and-bake pies for only $49.99!!! I even knew which three we should get!!

But that got my mom off on a rant about how money doesn’t grow on trees, and then Brianna started hollering about how cake is better than pie, and FINALLY, my dad interrupted everyone to say he had a simple solution.

Let me just tell you right now that his solution was not as simple as MINE.

My dad said I should be in charge of making the pies!! That I am old enough to take some responsibility! And I had to give him a list by the morning of whatever supplies I need!

Ugh!! So I went to research pie making options and got super overwhelmed and then Chloe called. She was SO EXCITED when I told her my problems. Apparently her family’s Thanksgiving was suddenly cancelled because her Uncle Carlos has a mysterious illness and can only eat celery and chicken broth for the next week, and no one wants to make him feel bad by devouring a big meal in front of him.

I guess Chloe had big pie plans for her family, so she’s heading over here today with all the supplies. Then tomorrow, we’re going to make the pies together! I called Zoey to see if she could come too, but she has a family thing.

With Chloe’s help, this might actually be fun!!!

Will YOU be helping to cook a special dish for Thanksgiving or the upcoming holiday?

What is YOUR most favorite Thanksgiving/holiday food to eat ?

Tell me all about it below?

Shopping For A Christmas Tree

I can’t BELIEVE this is happening to me!!!!!

Right now, I should be gliding across the ice, hand in hand with my BFFs at WinterFest, but nooooooooo! Do you know where I am right now??

I am CRAMMED into the backseat of our car getting poked in the neck by a Christmas tree branch, while Brianna wails along to the sweet, sweet rhythms of the Princess Sugar Plum Christmas album!!!

I was SUPPOSED to go to WinterFest with Chloe and Zoey today, and Brandon was supposed to be there too!! Even better, MacKenzie’s family is away at some luxury ski resort. So there was no chance of her RUINING the beautiful moment I totally would have had with Brandon!!!

But when I came downstairs this morning, ready to leave, do you know what my mom said?? She said, “Oh great, you’re dressed! Let’s go!”

For a second I thought she’d read my mind and was all ready to drive me. Um, WRONG.

“We’re going to Uncle Al’s Cut-Your-Own-Tree Farm as a family!” she chirped. (I’m not even kidding. She sounded like a bird who’s right outside your window, singing his brains out, on the first morning you’ve gotten to sleep in like forever.)

“But Mom!! I’m already planning to—”

BUT SHE DIDN’T EVEN LET ME FINISH!!! RUDE!!!

“Nope!” she sang. “Family time! Meet you in the car!!”

UGH!!!!

I only had time to grab a banana and my phone. I texted with Chloe and Zoey all the way there about how I had been kidnapped by a RAVING LUNATIC (who happened to be my mother).

Thankfully, Uncle Al’s Cut-Your-Own-Tree Farm wasn’t too long a drive, so I had some hope that we might be able to find a tree, cut it down, and get home with enough time to make it to WinterFest.

After all, how hard is it to find a decent tree? They’re all just…trees. Branches, trunks, pine needles. We got out of the car near a bunch of trees that were already cut and in tree stands.

“That one,” I said, pointing to the first one I saw.

My dad looked like he thought it was fine, but my mom shook her head and insisted that we’d come all this way in order to have a tree cut down. What difference does it make???

So she led us through the pre-cut trees to this forest beyond. I have to admit, it was kind of pretty. There was a little bit of snow falling and the whole thing looked kind of like a Christmas card. But THEN I thought about how I COULD be sipping hot cocoa while staring into Brandon’s eyes and the snowy forest wasn’t pretty anymore.

“That one!!” This time Brianna had found a tree.

“I agree!” I called without even looking at it. My dad shrugged.

But THEN the guy with the saw told us we couldn’t have Brianna’s tree because it had already been reserved by someone else.

How do you reserve a tree??? If they wanted it, why didn’t they cut it???

So then Brianna FREAKED OUT. I mean, the works. She hurled herself to the ground, flailing around, making a very angry little snow angel. My mom and dad huddled and I moved closer to hear what they were saying.
When they finally turned around, my mom said, “Where’s Brianna?” And she GLARED at me like it had been MY job to watch her!!!!

If you ever want to play an EXCELLENT game of hide and seek, I recommend playing it in a forest. We searched for like an HOUR before we found Brianna sitting in the little booth where you pay for the tree, eating a candy cane and watching Princess Sugar Plum on the worker’s phone.

I didn’t think it could get any worse. My parents gave up on this being a fun family outing and agreed to get one of the already cut trees. I felt a little bit sorry for my mom. And when we got back to the parking lot, they’d forgotten to bring a tarp to protect the top of the car. My mom looked like she was about to burst into tears.

“It’s okay, Mom,” I said. “It can go in the trunk!”

“It won’t fit!” she wailed. I almost expected her to throw herself down and make another angry snow angel.

“It will if you shove the top in, between our seats, and let the end hang out the back.”

“Might be a bit tight,” my dad pointed out, but he looked hopeful that we might get out of there this century.

My mom finally agreed to try it, which is how I am now trying to write while being poked in the arm by the Christmas tree.

We just pulled into our driveway and I was still holding out the tiniest bit of hope that I could get to Winterfest for the last few minutes. It might even be kind of dramatic, like the very end of a romantic comedy.

But GUESS what my mom just said??

“Family time, part two!!! Let’s go decorate the tree!!!”

Blog Post Artwork December 22nd Ah, winter vacation—when I get to completely relax, with no stressful assignments. NOT!!!!!

On the first morning of break, I stumbled into the kitchen and found every member of my family looking WAY too awake.

“What?” I peeked over my shoulder to see if they were staring bug-eyed at someone else behind me.

My dad opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get a word out, Brianna started screaming and pounding her fists on the table: “Secret Santa! Secret Santa! Secret Santa!”

My mom put a firm hand on Brianna’s shoulders—like THAT ever works. Seriously, I would permanently glue my hands to Brianna’s shoulders if that ever kept a lid on her crazy.

“We have some exciting news,” my mother said over Brianna’s shrieks.

“Bri-bri,” my dad said. “Be quiet so your mother can tell Nikki.”

I grabbed some cheese doodles and sat down at the table. My mother raised her eyebrows but didn’t object to my choice of breakfast. That’s when I knew I was NOT going to like whatever was coming next.

“We’re going to do Secret Santas!” my mom announced and Brianna started running circles around the table, waving her hands in the air.

My dad cleared his throat. “Brianna had so much fun doing Secret Santas with her ballet class that she suggested we do it here as a family.”

I stared at him, then my mother. “She had fun with her ballet class because Amanda Hollister was her Secret Santa! She got way better gifts than she’ll ever get from you guys.”

My mother totally agreed with me—I could tell. “We’re going to give it a try. Between now and Christmas, you do at least three special things for the person you pick, without telling them who you are.”

Before I could argue, they all grabbed a slip of paper from the center of the table. Brianna shrieked when she read hers and then grinned at me like a maniac. Then she did this totally-not-obvious thing where she looked everywhere but at me and tried to whistle.

Gee, I WONDER who my Secret Santa is??

I got my dad. Which is better than if I got Brianna!! But what do I do for my dad??? I already made his Christmas present – an awesome double-sided picture frame that can hang from the mirror in his van, with pictures of me on one side and Brianna on the other. Cool, right?
But now I have to come up with THREE. MORE. THINGS.

Okay, so the next morning I got up and went to the bathroom. When I returned, here’s what I saw: My bed COVERED with cheese doodles. Not a BAG of cheese doodles on my bed. NOPE. At least a hundred of the crumbly doodles themselves, smearing their weird orange powder all over my bedspread and sheets.

“MOM!!!!!” I screamed.

And there was Brianna, standing in the doorway. “Oh wow,” she said, her eyes wide. “How NICE that someone did something SO SPECIAL! They brought you BREAKFAST in BED!!!”

OMG!!!! It’s breakfast IN bed, not breakfast ALL OVER the bed!!!!

And that’s not even the WORST “special” thing my Secret Santa did!! Later, I was chilling on the couch, watching a Christmas movie, when I got a text from Brandon. My heart did that googly flip thing it does when Brandon texts and I turned ALL my focus to my phone.

Hey, Nikki. Um…thx for the card?

Suddenly I wondered if the cheese doodle incident had messed with my brain, because I didn’t remember sending Brandon a card. But I wrote back.

You’re welcome.

What else was I supposed to write? The screen showed him typing for a really long time. When the message came through, though, this is all it said:

It’s really from you?

Now I was panicking. What was he talking about? Did some other girl send Brandon a card and he assumed it was from me? What did it say?

Then a picture text came through. It was an envelope with messy handwriting that said:

2 Branden, Frum Nikki

My fingers froze. I didn’t even know how to respond. Then he sent another picture of the inside of the card. I feel nauseous just writing this…

Branden, I LUV U!!!
I want to mary u!!! Pleez be mi boyfrend!!

“BRIANNA!!!!!!” I went tearing up the stairs to make myself an only child, but my mom stood in front of Brianna’s bedroom door.

“Nikki, calm down,” she said.

“You don’t even know what HAPPENED!!!”

“Yes, I do. She told me. She was proud of coming up with something that she thought would help your friendship with Brandon.”

OMG!!!! My life is SO over!!! Did she think I WANTED to be completely HUMILIATED???

“She meant well,” my mom sighed. “Just explain to Brandon.”

So I texted Brandon and told him the card was “FRUM” Brianna, which I guess he figured. But I was still SO mortified!! So then I texted the rest of the afternoon with Chloe and Zoey about whether or not it’s illegal to sell a little sister on the internet.

And NOW I just realized I STILL haven’t figured out anything more to do for my dad and there’s only a couple days left until Christmas!!!

So what do you think? Any ideas for my dad?? And ALSO – how do I deal with Brianna? I know she meant well. But I AM STILL GOING TO KILL HER!!!!!

Nikki Cleans Her Room I have AMAZING news and I have HORRIBLE news. First, Chloe invited me and Zoey to sleep over on New Year’s Eve and that is OBVIOUSLY the amazing news. BUT, my mother just totally lost it over how we have TOO MUCH STUFF and now there is EVEN MORE STUFF after Christmas presents and she CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS!!!!

I mean, if she didn’t want us to have so much stuff, maybe she shouldn’t have given us so many presents. It’s not that I wish she hadn’t. I’m just sayin.’

I mean, I get it. She’s not wrong. We DO have a lot of stuff. But, like, it’s kind of CRUEL to be all, Merry Christmas! Now, GO CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!

Anyway, she gave me this GIANT bin and said I have to fill it with stuff to get rid of before I’m allowed to go to Chloe’s sleepover!!

I started with my clothes, because—well, mostly because they were everywhere I looked. All over the floor, under my bed, hanging over my desk lamp (don’t ask). I DO have a lot of clothes. Probably way more than I need. It shouldn’t be that hard to get rid of some.

But the first thing I picked up was the skirt I wore when Brandon and I shared a cupcake at the CupCakery. I mean, okay, the waist is a little tight. But I wore it while hanging out with Brandon and almost-kissing!!! I probably should keep it. I could be buried in it when I die!!

I decided that any clothes on the floor were clothes I had worn recently (or sort of recently, considering how stiff and gross those gym socks were—EWWWW!) and therefore I shouldn’t get rid of them, so I hauled them to the laundry room. Then I dug further back into my closet to find some things I haven’t worn for ages.

Bingo! My neon orange jog-a-thon t-shirt from elementary school! I dunked it into the giveaway bin like I was making a championship-winning basket. Then I stared down at the still mostly-empty bin. I needed bulkier things to fill it up!

I hit the jackpot when I found the crutches I used during Holiday on Ice rehearsals. Technically, they’re my dad’s, but hey! They were in MY closet all this time! Into the bin!

Then I found some suuuper uncomfortable shoes I hate and tossed them in. This was getting easier! Only…then I remembered I wore those shoes when I first went to talk to Brandon about working for the WCD newspaper. I thought they made me look journalistic. And they MUST have! Because I totally got the job, which has provided a lot of bonding opportunities with Brandon.

So…I pulled the uncomfortable shoes out of the bin.

Getting rid of clothes wasn’t going very well. I mean, what if I got rid of something, and then one day when we’re old and gray and talking to our grandkids, Brandon says, “Oh Nikki, remember the time we first hung out on a Wednesday in March and you were wearing that super ugly green sweater? It was the first time I knew I loved you. Where is that sweater?” Am I supposed to tell him – in front of our GRANDKIDS – that I tossed that sweater away like it was GARBAGE??

I dug through the closet for some more stuff – more clothes I’ve worn in front of Brandon, or on the phone with Brandon, or while thinking about Brandon; art supplies, which are obviously staying; boxes of filled up diaries—definite keepers. I even found and decided to keep this weird sculpture Brianna gave me last Christmas, made out of toilet paper rolls, gum wrappers, and cotton balls. I have no idea what it is. But she IS my sister, and as BONKERS as she makes me, I love that weirdo.

And THEN! Jackpot! My hand landed on something plasticky. I tugged until it finally came free from the box with my first grade collection of My Precious Ponys. (Can’t get rid of those, because they’re so lame they’re almost cool again.) It was the inflatable rocket ship I begged for when I went through a brief third grade space obsession. With no air in it, it didn’t look like much.

But SOMETIMES I’m so smart I amaze even myself. It took a LOT of huffing and puffing, but within a few minutes, I had that baby inflated. It was so big, I actually had to take the crutches out of the bin to make the rocket fit inside. VOILA!!!

I hauled the bin out of my room and through the living room, acting like it was WAY heavier than it was. “All done, Mom,” I said.

“That was fast.”

I shrugged. “It’s full. I’ll just put it in Dad’s van so he can drop it off at the thrift store.”
She beamed at me. “Doesn’t it feel good to help others?”

It does! I’m sure that jog-a-thon t-shirt and inflatable rocket ship are going to make someone VERY happy!! Just like I’M very happy to be going to Chloe’s for a New Year’s Eve sleepover!!! SQUEEEE!!!!!!

Ask Nikki - BFF Doesn't Like My Other Friends

Hi Nikki! I need your help. I really like to hang out with this group of girls. My best friend says that she doesn’t like them because they’re mean to her. However, they’re nice to her and I’ve never seen them be mean. I don’t know what to believe!

Am I insulting my friend in any way by hanging out with them? How can I convince my friend that they are actually really nice?

From,

Torn-In-Two

Hi Torn-in-Two!

Yikes, that sounds awful. (Can you imagine if you were actually torn in two? In the olden days, it was an actual punishment for the worst criminals. Ewww…but let’s focus on your actual problem!!)

I wonder if your BFF might be feeling a little insecure that she’s going to lose you. If she doesn’t get along with these girls but you want to hang out with them, she might worry she’s not going to get as much time with you as she’d like to have (obviously, since you’re so awesome). I’d probably be jealous if Chloe and Zoey started hanging out with the CCPs. If this is the case, then no, I don’t think it’s a betrayal for you to hang out with some new friends. It’s okay to have more than one group of friends.

BUT I also think it would be good to make sure your BFF knows she’s still your BFF, and that the second F in BFF stands for FOREVER. Plan a sleepover, send her some reassuring texts, bring her a favorite candy bar. Come right out and tell her how special she is to you and let her know that you might have some new friends, but she’ll always be your forever BF.

On the other hand, I wonder what your BFF means when she says they were “really mean to her.” That could mean a lot of things. It could be MacKenzie-level mean, where they stole from her or blackmailed her or stuffed her into a locker. If it’s that extreme…well, think about how you’d feel if you were your friend. If your BFF started hanging out with some girls who had been truly awful to you, how would you feel?

I’d sit down with your BFF, make sure she knows how much you can’t live without her, and then ask her to tell you more about what happened with these girls. If she just doesn’t get along with them, be sure she knows you’re not giving up on your friendship with her—you’re just expanding your world. But if something MacKenzie-level bad went down, give your BFF the loyalty you’d want from her.

What do you guys think? Is it a betrayal of your BFF to hang with girls she doesn’t like?

Nikki New Year Resolution

It’s a NEW YEAR!! 2016!! It’s the year I’m going to become a movie star-Olympic athlete-class president-gourmet chef-world class gymnast-artist !

Okay, maybe not. But Chloe said during our New Year’s Eve sleepover that we each had to come up with a list of New Year’s resolutions. She was SO excited about it—she even busted out the jazz hands!!

Zoey and I promised we’d come up with our own resolutions and report back! So, let’s see…

RESOLUTION #1: Tell Brandon EXACTLY how I feel about him.

Except the thing is that every time I talk to Brandon I melt into a puddle of goo and stare into his eyes for what feels like FOREVER and it’s hard to remember to breathe properly. So HOW am I supposed to form words that tell him exactly how I feel???
Scratch that one. Let me try again…

RESOLUTION #1: Get strong!!!

When I helped Dad carry the Christmas tree out to the curb, I had to stop and rest three times! How RIDICULOUS is that?? I am a girl and girls RUN THE WORLD! But my arms are tiny little twigs. So, I’m going to work out! Drink protein shakes and lift weights and do yoga! Except…protein shakes are GROSS. Have you ever had one? And lifting weights seems really boring. And one time I DID try yoga, and right in the middle of the class, when everything was quiet and peaceful and our butts were all pointed to the sky…I farted !!! So maybe I’ll just stay weak.

What else could I resolve? Hmmm…

RESOLUTION #1: Try to get along with Bria—

Never mind. I couldn’t even write the whole sentence. My little sister is crazy-pants. I can’t control that. Don’t ask me to try. How about…

RESOLUTION #1: Do ALL of my homework as soon as I get home from school.

This way I’ll have the rest of the evening for texting with friends and binging on Netflix and doodling Brandon’s name all over my desk. LOL !!! I mean, I love this one in theory, but what am I supposed to do if Brandon calls when I’m in the middle of my math homework? NOT ANSWER so I’ll have time to dream about him later!?!?! Um, NO. I’m supposed to answer and TALK TO BRANDON. So, this one just isn’t practical.

I really need to come up with something good, though, or Chloe will be so disappointed.

RESOLUTION # 1: Become a vegan.

I have heard this is good for the planet. I won’t miss my mom’s meatloaf. Ooh, I won’t have to eat Grandma’s Beef Stroganoff, either!! This is good! It might be the one. Except…the problem with being a vegan is that I could only have veggie pizza. And wait a second! Vegan means no cheese, too!! I couldn’t have pizza at all! There are NO jazz hands in a world without pizza.

I love my girl Chloe a lot, but…

Hang on a second!! I think I’ve got it!! This is the one thing that I KNOW I can keep doing and do well and it’s good for me and keeps me sane (sort of). So here it is…

RESOLUTION #1 (For real this time!!!): KEEP WRITING IN MY DIARY.

Every day, good stuff, bad stuff. Write. It. Down. I’ve got this.

What are your resolutions? Tell me in the comments!!

brandon_post_photos_36v2

Dude! There’s a girl on my basketball team in my PE class that’s so good, she’s better than me, and I’m a guy. She can outshoot, out dribble, and basically out play me on the court. Her mad skills make me feel like I shouldn’t be on the team. I feel kind of embarrassed, especially when I have to play with her. I get so worked up that I start throwing bricks. Then I get yanked out of the game and have to ride the bench.

What should I do?

Brian, The Used To Be Baller

Hey Brian! I’m sorry you’re feeling down on your game these days.

It never feels good to try your hardest at something and then have someone else waltz up and shine brighter. Why should SHE score all the points when you’re working so hard??

Well…maybe because she’s working hard, too?

But here’s my big question for you: Are you embarrassed because she’s better, or because she’s a girl? Would you have the same reaction to a guy player who’s better than you? I’m guessing there are a couple other players—if not on your PE team then in your league or your neighborhood—who are maybe a little better than you are. It’s pretty hard to be the absolute best, so when playing sports (or doing anything), it’s a good idea to get comfortable with the idea that other people are sometimes going to be more skilled than you are. That’s just life. It shouldn’t get you down, either. You can let it drive you to work harder and get better yourself.

But, maybe you’re not embarrassed because another player is better than you are. It kind of sounds like the embarrassing part is that she’s a girl. In which case, I say to you: Dude. It’s 2016. Are you genuinely surprised a girl might be a better baller than you? Girls are tough, in sports and everything else. They have to fight against the idea that they won’t be good enough because they’re girls, and that fighting makes them even tougher. If I was playing ball with a girl who didn’t hesitate to jump on the court with a group of guys, I’d be all like, “Dude, she’s scary!” Or, I’d be paying attention and learning something from her.

Maybe when this awesome baller shines on your court, you could ask her about her training regimen, notice her technique, and ask her for some tips. I’m serious! You might learn something and make a friend who obviously loves basketball as much as you do! I hope that helps and you can go back to enjoying your game. That’s what it’s all about.

It’s awesome that you’re passionate about your game. But, let that passion drive you to be better, rather than get you yanked out of the game. Losing court time has to be worse than being challenged by a tough opponent—in this case, a girl—right?

What do you guys think? How do you feel when someone outshines you?

Ask Nikki - Messy sister Today’s question comes from Sophia, who writes:

Hi Nikki,

I share a bedroom with my little sister and she’s a complete slob! Every time I clean up our room, it gets messy again in just a few days, thanks to my sister. She never picks up after herself, she throws her dirty clothes on the floor, and now she’s starting to eat in our room. Just the other day, I found goldfish crumbs and an empty juice box on MY bed. I never knew someone so little and cute could create such a big mess. HELP!

Sophia, Sad Sister of a Slob

OMG, Girlfriend! I totally understand how you feel! I thought I had it bad with Brianna spreading her KA-RAY-ZEE all over the house. But at least I don’t have to share a room with her! I HAVE had to share a room with her when we go to visit relatives, though, and we always have to share the backseat and the computer and the TV, so I can imagine what you’re going through…

INSANITY!!!!

My number one, most helpful piece of advice is this: Move into a spare cupboard or closet. Hey, it worked for Harry Potter!

For real, though, this is a head-scratcher. I assume if you guys are sharing a room, it’s only because you HAVE to. There’s no spare guest room you could move into or attic you could clean out. Because if you have any choices, you should take them. But I doubt you would have written to me if there was a spare room available.

Maybe your parents have decided you guys HAVE to share a room for sisterly bonding or something. (WHY do parents think they have to force that?? We’re already bonded by BLOOD!!!)

Okay, so the main problem is that your sister is a slob. I assume you’ve already tried talking to her nicely and patiently, and asking her to clean up her stuff and not use your bed as a picnic table? If not, do that. But the fact is, if she’s a slob, you’re probably not going to be able to change who she is.

You might, however, be able to come up with some guidelines that can keep you sane. Depending on how old your sister is and what your relationship is like, it might be good to involve your parents in this. I’m not the neatest person myself, but here are some ideas that make sense to me:

No food in the bedroom. To make this work, you’d have to follow the rule, too. But it would probably be worth it if it keeps your bed clear of mouse-bait.
No TV if there are clothes on the floor. (Or something else that’s important to her—no dance class or no dessert or whatever.) Again, you’d have to follow the rule too, but it wouldn’t be difficult for you and it would be worth it. You’d want to be sure your parents are on board to help you enforce this rule, because she’s not going to want you acting like her mom and telling her she can’t have dessert. That’s going to end badly.
Some kind of star chart like parents use for toddlers who are potty training. To get a star at the end of each day, her stuff has to be picked up. And then a certain number of stars adds up to some sort of reward for her.

No matter how many rules you put in place, though, you have to remember that she may just be naturally messy. If you push too hard, you’re both going to end up frustrated. She MAY even be trying her best, as hard as that is to believe. This might be one of those life stages you have to get through. And even if you don’t want to move permanently into a cupboard, maybe there’s a little nook somewhere that could be yours and yours alone—a closet or a tree house or a corner of a parent’s office that you could escape to for quiet, neat organization.

I hope that helps!!

My older brother is mean to me at school!

NEW! DID YOU READ MY FIRST SNEAK PEEK OF BOOK 10?!

Sat., October 10th! – Calling all DORK SUPERFANS!!

MY DAD READ MY DIARY!!!

What do you guys think? Has anyone ever read YOUR diary??
What did you do?? Post your comments below.

BRIANNA IS RUINING HALLOWEEN!!

Maybe Brianna Didn’t Ruin Halloween After All?!…

NEW!! See Rachel and Her Daughters On TV!!

What does being a DORK mean to YOU?! Tell us below!

Friday, November 13th – Hang out with Rachel and her daughters

Hang out with Rachel, Erin and Nikki as they celebrate the release of their latest book

Listen Up! You Gotta Hear This!…

Exciting news!

NEW!! Check out Nikki’s Puppy Game!

Hey Dork Diaries Superfans!

What do you think of the game? I’d love to hear your comments below!

Introducing Max Crumbly

Pre-Order This Book!

MY NEVER-ENDING HOMEWORK DRAMA!!

I’M IN CHARGE OF THE THANKSGIVING PIES!

Christmas Tree Shopping Disaster!!!

Secret Santa INSANITY!!!

Mom’s War on Stuff

Am I a Traitor to my BFF??

What do you guys think? Is it a betrayal of your BFF to hang with girls she doesn’t like?

My Number One New Year’s Resolution!!!

When a girl has mad skills on the basketball court

What do you guys think? How do you feel when someone outshines you?

My Sister’s a Complete Slob

How do you guys handle sharing a room with someone messy??

What do you guys think? Has anyone ever read YOUR diary?? What did you do?? Post your comments below.

What does being a DORK mean to YOU?! Tell us below!

Hang out with Rachel, Erin and Nikki as they celebrate the release of their latest book

Exciting news!

Hey Dork Diaries Superfans!

What do you think of the game? I’d love to hear your comments below!

Pre-Order This Book!

What do you guys think? Is it a betrayal of your BFF to hang with girls she doesn’t like?

What do you guys think? How do you feel when someone outshines you?

How do you guys handle sharing a room with someone messy??

What do you guys think? Has anyone ever read YOUR diary??
What did you do?? Post your comments below.